Rules For Side-Boob

TheWanderingMind
Aug 14, 2016
2 min read

Livin' on a prayer and loads of fashion tape. Side-boob is a dangerous act to preform (but in reality, actually pretty safe), similar to a trapeze class for us regular folks, however when it comes to side-boob there's no safety net in the form of a stylist, so the stakes really are just a little higher. I often see ladies rocking side boob but just doing it SO wrong, and when its not done right it just ain't a pretty sight. Here my five golden commandments for just the right amount of exposure.

1. Choosing the Right Cut

As in life, Successful side-boob is all about balance: If the left and right are out, the middle cannot also be exposed. That would be too much. Look for scoop necks rather than deep Vs.

2. Choosing the Right Vibe

Because sideboob is inherently outré, you need to play it off like it's NBD (No Big Deal), which perhaps makes it even sexier. For this, you've got a few aesthetic choices: street-meets-beach (like Gigi Hadid, here), super fancy/conceptual, or sporty like a high-cut '80s swimsuit Christy would wear to play beach volleyball.

3. Practicing Self-Awareness

The best clothes are the ones you forget you're wearing, but sometimes, it's okay to sacrifice 100 percent comfort for a Moment. Successful Side-boob requires the wearer to be a bit more conscious, not of her body, but her body movements. This means no mashing your arms against your sides (what's even the point, then?), drawing your shoulders together like they taught you in yoga, and pivoting and looking over your shoulder at all possible opportunities.

4. Maybe Trying This on a Very Casual Friday During Which Your Boss Is on Vacation

High-neck apron-y styles will fool 'em, for sure, especially if the rest of your outfit is very straight-laced.

5. F—ing the Boobs or Legs Rule

This goes against what I said before, but listen: Sometimes—after you've been working out regularly, or it's right after your period and you've de-bloated, or you're just especially feeling yourself—a girl just wants to go for it. Do it boldly, own it, and everything will be great.